Al Diamon has a unique ability, in his columns, to flip a switch and go from lighthearted joking to biting social commentary and back again.

He performed that maneuver deftly this week.

Instead of nebulous enemies like “one world government” and “Diversity,” [the Tea Partiers] really ought to find somebody specific to blame.

Somebody like … immigrants. The Republican platform demands the restoration of “the process of assimilation of immigrants to preserve the benefits of an advanced[,] educated and prosperous society.” Already, we can see how foreign-speaking devils have damaged our ability to properly punctuate.

In reality, assimilation, which – as any Austrian economist can tell you – isn’t a government function, takes time. Otherwise, all those retired Maine mill workers wouldn’t still be speaking French when they’re at home. Also, subversive restaurants would stop serving ployes and poutine.

I understand the impatience of Tea Partiers still waiting for the Irish (St. Patrick’s Day, stout), the Germans (Christmas trees, lager beer), the Muslims (mathematics, distilled liquor), the Mexicans (Cinco de Mayo, tequila), the Africans (jazz, rock) and the Chinese (mahjong, tea) to quit clinging to their past and embrace America (light beer, Miley Cyrus).

But if immigrants refuse to take the fall for whatever’s wrong, who will? Intellectuals? The communists have already blamed them. Jews? An unpopular choice since the Nazis tried it. Democrats? A tough sell in the general election.

Hypocrites?

Now, those folks make even mild-mannered me angry.

Further reading: Al's Down East column on the state of political coverage in Maine and A.J. Higgins' excellent analysis of the Republican primary race, referenced in the post.

Riffing on McGowan's new campaign song, Al Diamon has written a campaign anthem for all the gubernatorial candidates:

I’m a RINO-right-winger and a retro-progressive.
My tea parties are green, and I’m pacifist-aggressive.
I’ll increase welfare, I’ll cut the dole.
I’ll reduce taxes, using rigmarole.
You’ll get free health care, unless you’re really sick.
Good jobs for every Harry, Tom, Jane and Dick.
Catch all the fish, and let them all go.
Catch all the flack, and never let it show.
Open-carry your semi-automatic, create a big national park.
I won’t get autocratic or stand by that last remark.
I’ll save the water, I’ll clean the air.
I’ll make those topless women put on their underwear.
And when my term is finished, you’ll discover you’ve still got
Overpriced booze and a sales tax on pot.

Al Diamon has made his predictions for this year's gubernatorial race:

I think it’ll come down to Abbott and Rowe in November, with the Republican taking the Blaine House by a narrow margin, thanks to Cutler and Williams siphoning votes from the Democrat.

Diamon was spot on in 2006, but that wasn't exactly a hard race to forecast.

Al Diamon gave the site a mention in his column this week, in which he notes the unique clean elections conflict facing gubernatorial candidate and Senate President Libby Mitchell.

Mitchell dispatched her husband to address the state ethics commission. According to an account in the Bangor Daily News, Jim Mitchell warned commissioners that with seven gubernatorial hopefuls seeking "clean" cash, "You may have no money for the general election."

This could place Mitchell (him, not her) in the conflicted position of begging the ethics commission to find extra cash – either by asking the Legislature to send over a few bagfuls or by allowing publicly financed candidates to raise some money privately – at the same time that Mitchell (her, not him) is busy in her role as a senator cutting funding for starving street urchins in order to cover the state’s massive fiscal shortfall.

Al Diamon on the confluence of Maine's political parties, TABOR and tax reform:

For some reason, spending limits and tax reform mix like Diet Coke and Mentos, like Kevin Youkilis and Manny Ramirez, like Catholic bishops and same-sex marriage. Republicans hate tax reform because it doesn’t reduce taxes. Democrats hate spending limits because they reduce spending. Green Independents hate both of them because, well, they’re Greens, so they don’t need reasons.

In his column this week, Al Diamon examines some of the arguments made by same-sex marriage opponents in Maine and finds a common thread:

They’re basing their convictions on the Bible.

At least, the parts they agree with.

They’re comfortable quoting the chapters where God comes down hard on incest, adultery and homosexuality, but less likely to mention the verses where He gives a pass to polygamy, wife-beating and the summary execution of people who marry outside their tribes.

Diamon also references Neil Rolde's testimony on the history of marriage in Maine, which I posted here.

DownEast.com is in the process of relaunching. Last week's column (and future posts) will soon be available here, but for now you can read it right here.

In the post, I argued that towns in Maine should be given the right to choose to allow non-citizen immigrant residents to vote in local elections. I did not, however, respond to Al Diamon's concern that allowing these people a democratic voice in their communities will soon lead to John Travolta taking over our state.

That strange argument, as well as the fact that my Canadian partner joked about how she should be celebrating "Loyalists' Day" today have slightly shaken my convictions, but I still think I'm right about this one, even as many others disagree.

Al Diamon has a fascinating column this week where he delves into the strategic vision of Tony Payne and the Alliance for Maine's Future.

Apparently, instead of just trying to increase the number of Republicans the Maine legislature, the right-leaning (but "non-partisan") group will now be seeking out conservative Democrats and running them in primaries against progressive members of their own party.

Payne said the alliance is working with middle-of-the-road Dems to recruit centrist candidates to run against liberals in party primaries in 2010 and 2012. He hopes to create a moderate bloc of a dozen or more legislators capable of shifting the Democratic majority’s left-wing policies toward the middle of the political spectrum.

Payne said many of his GOP allies are shocked by his new approach, feeling he should be devoting his energies to reviving the feeble Republican legislative caucus.

"They’re not happy about it,” he said. “They think the Democrats are gaming us."

He said dealing with the Dems is simply being realistic.

"Maine is a blue state," he said. "We told our friends in the Republican world, ‘This is the only way to get anything done in this economy.’ We say, "Who do you want to deal with, [liberal Speaker of the House] Hannah Pingree or Bill Diamond?’"

On his Media Mutt blog today, Al Diamon notes that the Maine Public Broadcasting Network will be obligated to maintain its current coverage area, under a law sponsored by Sen. Kevin Raye, in exchange for an increase in government funding. Diamon predicts this will have a detrimental effect on the network's political coverage.

It wouldn’t be that much of a leap for lawmakers to decide to dictate the network’s news policy, as well. Although, most senators and representatives already know that won’t be necessary. Given its perilous financial situation, MPBN reporters will likely be extra cautious for the foreseeable future in covering the Legislature. A hat-in-hand network that’s already capitulated once to political pressure is in no position to spark controversy by getting ahead of other news outlets in reporting on the errors and omissions of state government.

The Portland Daily Sun, a new free daily newspaper, debuted this morning in the city of Portland and online at www.theportlanddailysun.com. I picked up a copy in one of their new maroon boxes just off monument square.

Al Diamon is wondering what the print edition is like, so here are some details from the first issue: It's 16 pages, about 60% local reporting and 40% syndicated (mostly AP) content. They list a circulation of 3,000 and the print version does include bylines (except for the article on the winter carnival). Click the image to the left for a larger version of the Daily Sun's front page. (This scan is black and white - the actual paper is in color).

The paper's editor, Curtis Robinson, assures readers in his introductory column that the publication won't be ideologically-driven. "We just want to write and photograph interesting stories that matter," writes Robinson.

He also pledges to maintain an open forum for various political viewpoints:

"We intend to be wide open to the array of voices that make Portland, well, Portland. But our news coverage will, we hope, be as unbiased as we can be without wringing the last vestige of humanity from our writing. I suspect many of you know what that means, and we’re confident you will help correct us if we stray from straightforward communication."

It appears that two reporters, David Carkhuff and Casey Conley, will provide the bulk of the paper's regular content. Robinson wrote one article in today's edition and invites freelancers to submit samples for consideration.

Columnist Al Diamon has taken the opportunity of the Porltand Phoenix's ten-year anniversary to take a look back at the Maine political scene in 1999 and compare it to today. His conclusion?

"If there's anything the last decade should have taught us, it's that money — or the lack thereof — makes absolutely no difference in the way the governor, the Legislature, and the state bureaucracy do their jobs. In both good times and bad, they fuck things up."

The feature is an indictment of just about everyone who has set foot in Augusta for the past ten years, and you can tell it was cathartic to write. Diamon also provides some advice for setting things right. Here's one suggestion:

"Stop delaying tax reform. Baldacci has proposed cutting the income tax at least four times in the last seven years without ever actually doing it. Legislators have studied expanding the sales tax for so long they should have doctorates by now. Quit stalling. Show some balls."

Al Diamon has two legislative sources that say the A.J. Higgins story played a "significant role" in preventing Rep. Sean Faircloth from becoming Attorney General.

Faircloth didn't sit back and take it when the story came out, however. He and Sen. Joe Perry (also of Bangor) distributed this letter refuting the charges made in the piece and alleging that his Democratic opponents participated in the attacks.

Now that the race is over, PolitickerME reports that Brautigam is open to being appointed U.S. Attorney.

This week, Al Diamon completed his look (part 1, part 2) at possible 2010 gubernatorial contenders. Here are the major party names he mentions:

Democrats
Steven Rowe
John Richardson
Patrick McGowan
Beth Edmonds
Libby Mitchell
Tom Allen
Mike Michaud
Adam Cote

Republicans
Peter Mills
Kevin Raye
Joshua Tardy
Rick Bennett
Dana Dow
Paul LePage
Jon Doyle

The Portland Press Herald has been sold to Maine Media Investments, a company owned by U.S. Sen. Bill Cohen, Robert Baldacci and Michael Liberty, according to the Busby-Diamon tag team.

Update: A "purchase agreement" has been signed, but the deal is not yet final, according to today's PPH article.

As WGME reports, Paul Bennett, who was convicted of manslaughter for killing his infant son 15 years ago, was elected as a town selectman in Topsham. Because of the controversy his election is causing, however, he says he plans to resign the post.

Al Diamon has more on how badly the Times Record messed up by not reporting this fact about the candidate before the election.

Update: Bennett has posted a statement on his website.